by Jane Marie Sundermann, MA, Clinical Psychology, Developmental Cognitive Neuroscience
I have been the nice girl for a long time. I have definitely done more than my fair share of smiling, going along with things, not standing up for what I believe. But I have changed a lot over the past year. In a really good way, and so this is part of my new year’s resolution. THIS is my commitment to all humans. You could be family, friends, a stranger on the street. I don’t care. Please read and remember this.
If you choose to hurt ME or ANYONE that I love, I will confront you. I will set a boundary with you. You will understand exactly where that boundary is. You will know what the consequences are.
If you cross it again, you’ll see my behavior on repeat. I will confront you. I will set a boundary. You will understand exactly where that boundary is. You will know what the consequences are.
A third time? You guessed it. And a fourth and a fifth and a sixth…I will continue to do the same thing over and over again until you understand that it is not OK. I won’t stop. I will be tireless. I will not back down.
I give up on things all the time. I put in half-assed effort. I get by. I’m still going to do that for things that I don’t really care about but may be necessary for daily functioning and survival. There are many such things.
But mess with the people that I care about? I promise you I will be a freak show. I will not quit. I will confront, set boundaries, give consequences until you get it. I will use nonviolence, but I will not be nice about it. I will be firm. I won’t move until you surrender.
You can still do whatever you want. You are always free to make your own choices. But like I said you’ve been warned. if your choice is to hurt me or anyone that I love, I am not okay with that. this is what will happen, and I personally wouldn’t want to be on the other end of it.
Image: Some rights reserved by Hartwig HKD