Illegal Spirituality

Do this illegal thing: drink raw milk

by Lyssa Myska Allen, who think that drinking raw milk is one way to be happy

It is illegal to buy raw milk in the state of Texas.

It is not, however, illegal to buy raw milk from the farm in the state of Texas.

Enter MooJesus!, the dairy on EverythingJesus! Ranch.

It started with a small road trip in search of said raw milk, where three women half-afraid MooJesus! was a cult (would we come back named MooLyssa, MooLisa, MooVeronica?) bump-bump-bumped down a dirt road. Passing the first set of giant iron crosses that made up the EverythingJesus! gates, past a second, matching, gate, we joked that the road to Heaven sure is bumpy.

Inside a small house, Pastor Gina greets us like old friends. Sheldon, her sweet son, brings us menus and says he’ll start us on dinner. Grandma is puttering around, and sisters or cousins wander in and out, greeting us with broad, genuine smiles. The whole family radiates a shiny, unadulterated happiness that only emanates from people who are truly content.

Soon, Sheldon brings us sprouted grain bread and butter, and began to urge us to eat more butter. Sheldon, we argued, we love butter! We eat Paleo, so we’re all about good fats. Naturally, this sparked a nutrition conversation that lasted hours. As we talk about happy meat, Pastor Gina says, “That’s fresh meat [that we’re eating]. I could tell you the name of the cow … nah, that’s too personal.” 

We pray before dinner, but that’s the only religious act we commit. Looks like our fears of being converted to EverythingJesus! religion are completely unfounded. Pastor Gina mentioned once, in earnest excitement, that she thanks God for bringing us to the ranch.

Perhaps, though, in this (not) illegal endeavor, we learned more than we imagined: Pastor Gina tells us a story about a group of underprivileged kids that visited EverythingJesus!, which also has horses, other farm animals, and acres of land with streams and trees. She planned educational activities but when she saw how excited they were just to be outside, she scrapped everything and just let them run around the ranch. Gina said to their nervous supervisors: they can’t hurt themselves, let them enjoy the land and explore on their own.

At its base, Gina’s actions are that of a generous parent, full of respect and trust for her children. But ultimately her actions are also a huge metaphor for religion, and I’d imagine the way she runs her church: bring the parishioners to (Moo)Jesus, and let them enjoy the land and explore on their own.

If that’s the lesson we took, perhaps we were converted to the MooJesus! cult: we’ll take this illegal spirituality, one that teaches that each child reaches religion or spirituality at her own pace, any day.

MooJesus! at EverythingJesus! Ranch, 12061 FM 466, Seguin, TX 78155

Category: Belief


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