How falling in love with all of your life can dramatically improve your relationship
Seasons of Change is a biweekly column from Jayne Clark addressing different topics each season. Spring’s focus is relationships. Jayne Clark works intuitively with clients to help them resolve issues regarding relationships, loss, grief, health, and career path. To learn more, head to jayneclark.com.
All of life is romantic! It is rich in creativity, movement, and evolution. It is ever changing, growing, and expanding. Opportunities are abundant. Our heart’s desires are real. And living on full throttle is not just some “pie in the sky fantasy.” It is a present reality for those who live with an open and willing heart.
When I speak of the Romantic in you, I’m not just talking about being a better lover to your partner or spouse, although, that is very much a part of it. I’m also talking about the part of us that has the ability to bring romance to all aspects of our lives—from paying the bills, to going to work, to cleaning our house, to dealing with family, kids, spouses, co-workers, and rude drivers.
We can either go through life being our “bare minimum” self or we can shift our energy, thoughts, and behavior to become like a beautiful artist living our lives with purpose, imagination, and a surplus of physical vitality to bring forth powerful transformation.
Too often we expect our spouses and partners to be the source of our emotional security, physical support, and unfailing love. Yet, it is very unrealistic to think that they could consistently fulfill all of those needs all of the time.
Our partners have bad days too. They have inner conflict and challenges that they are working on. They, too, are learning how to awaken and become more conscious beings. Therefore, we must learn how to bring a sense of romance to all of the aspects of life.
Fall in love with your entire life, not just your partner.
Think about something you have wanted to do—take a class, learn to draw, raise a garden, take up a new hobby, start a side business, or travel to a place you have always dreamed of. Whatever it is, it is vitally important that you fall in love with those desires, allowing yourself to really feel their reality in your life and then take the steps towards fulfilling them.
And this is exactly the point where we get stuck. We won’t venture too far out of the relationship to explore our creative desires. We will come up with excuses such as, “it costs too much money,” “my husband thinks I should spend that time with the family,” “my wife feels like I will be gone too much,” “they will get jealous.”
When we put those aspects of our lives on hold, we become stagnant and we bring that energy into our romantic lives. The next step: we look at our partner and blame them because “they won’t let us do what we want to do.” Whether they are saying it with their words or through their energy, we know it will upset them if we pursued creative interests outside of our relationship.
However, it is the exact opposite. Becoming a lover of life will actually enhance our relationship. When we are generating fulfillment within our self through the expression of our creativity and abilities, it takes the pressure off the relationship and our partner.
We have a sense of freedom, flow, and the room to grow as individuals within the relationship. Hopefully, through our demonstration, they too will have the courage to step out and reach for their inner desires.
When our relationship is healthy, we want to shine and we want our partner to shine. We want to have interests unique to who we are and support our partner in finding their unique desires.
A supportive and encouraging energy such as that naturally feeds the health of our relationship. It’s a wonderful way to improve the quality of our communication, connection and overall way of relating to each other. The real secret to a fulfilling and satisfying relationship is to simply be happy!