Seasons of Change: What is Love?

Find out what the young and young at heart have to teach us about real love.

Recently, I ran across a website that posted advice about love from kids ages 5-10. These were some of my favorites…

“Spend most of your time loving instead of going to work.” -Dick, age 7 

“Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough.” -Lynnette, age 8

“Tell your wife that she looks pretty even if she looks like a truck!” -Ricky, age 7

“Don’t forget your wife’s name. That will mess up the love.” -Erin, age 8

“Sensitivity don’t hurt.” -Robbie, age 8

“Be a good kisser. It might make your wife forget that you never take out the trash.” -Erin, age 8

“Don’t say you love somebody and then change your mind. Love isn’t like picking what movie you want to watch.” -Natalie, age 9

When talking to my 93-year-old grandfather, his advice about love was:

“People are like 2×4’s. They have a good side and a bad side. Never look at the bad side because you’ll never learn anything about love. Only look at the good side of a person and then you will know what love is.”

This confirms to me that when I was a child, I knew what love was. Now that I am somewhere in my 40s, I have completely forgotten what love is—but not to worry! I will remember once again when I am my grandfather’s age.

Even though I am poking fun at myself, I do envy the simplicity found in the wisdom of my grandfather and these children. Their words are spoken from such a pure and unfiltered place. Their perspective is free of drama caused by abandonment, betrayal, and loss.  

We can use our power of choice to learn about Love.

In every moment, we have the privilege to choose between being right and justified or being loving and kind. Whatever we choose, we will experience. With that said, I have a confession. Sometimes, it feels really good to be right, justified, and defended. And I have to go one step further and say that I have really enjoyed the “power” (though it be a false power) that accompanies such stances.

There is just one problem.

The power and control obtained through being right and defended is fleeting and is usually followed by an emotional hangover. These choices are always made from our ego—our false self. It is the part of us that has not allowed the real power of Love to be ushered into our awareness. It is the self that doesn’t trust Love.

Becoming aware of our false self is really the key to seeing, knowing and experiencing real Love. Choosing to surrender our man-made beliefs about Love automatically brings forth the Light by which we can see clearly. Once it is in our awareness, it will drop down into our experience—the place in us that interprets our inner and outer worlds.   

So What is Love?

Love is what we experience when we are brave enough to admit to the Holy Spirit within us how terrified we are, how much we don’t like ourselves, and how we will do anything to avoid others witnessing our own shortcomings.  

When we heal our blocks to Love, real Love naturally happens. We don’t have to work for it, learn about it, or even try to understand it. It is the natural essence of who we are.  

If you are someone who enjoys flying, the process of letting real Love in can be a lot like boarding an aircraft. You check your baggage at the baggage claim, take your seat, and relax as your pilot safely transports you to your final destination!

Seasons of Change is a biweekly column from Jayne Clark addressing different topics each season. Spring’s focus is relationships. Jayne Clark works intuitively with clients to help them resolve issues regarding relationships, loss, grief, health, and career path. To learn more, head to jayneclark.com.

Image: Some rights reserved by CosmoPolitician

Category: Psych

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