by Cindy Myska, therapist

My father-in-law passed away last week. We suffered the loss of our dad. We grieved the loss of someone we loved.

My brother-in-law called us just as we were leaving for the three hour trip to Houston to see my dad-in-law before he died. Alan had lost his wallet and thought it might be at his house. Would we look for the wallet before we left? 

My friend broke up with his girlfriend. He is getting over the loss slowly but surely. Another friend lost her job. Lots of people lost money with unscrupulous investors. And so on and so on. We are always losing ... something or someone. We lose relationships, we lose money, we lose time, we lose hope, we lose our wallets.

It suddenly occurred to me that I could refuse to believe in loss.  We did not lose our dad; we sat by his bedside as he transitioned into a new dimension. We may not understand that dimension, but that does not make it loss. 

Alan's wallet was securely planted in his briefcase in the back of his car. We did not lose 30 minutes looking for it; instead we gained his appreciation, the gratitude of our brother-in-law for taking the time to needlessly look for the wallet that was with him the whole time.

All of the things we call loss, are really gains. We gain experience, we gain wisdom. Lost relationships become hearts expanded and pushed to grow and learn. That is a gain. Lost money becomes gained appreciation for truth and integrity and what really matters.

Believing in loss begets suffering. Believing in gain begets appreciation of life's journey. 

There is no loss. I am sure there will be some insurmountable part of life come up, and I will once again believe that I can suffer loss, but for now, for as long as I can, I am sticking with it and refusing to believe in loss.

Image: Some rights reserved by JoePenna